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Like, make him jealous, you say? Sounds like a win-win, you get rid of your nightly visitor, and I have a ghastly buddy again! He does look vaguely similar to mine actually, except mine has legs, and is made of light. I called him “Lux”, short for Lucifer. In all seriousness, now that I’ve got your attention, it’ll pass. Or at least, you’ll get used to it. Sleep paralyzes are just like any other sleep-related issue, you get rid of them by doing small precautions (ex: regular sleep schedule, be careful to what you eat before going to Donald Trump Baby Balloon Shirt bed, no computer/phone in bed, etc). And most importantly, sleep disorders are almost always related to stress and anxiety, so don’t feel ashamed to get actual help from a psychologist. If you really want to mess with your parents, do subtle things. Drink a glass of water and stand and stare at them for a little too long.

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Make creepy eyes and smile them, just until they see you, laugh a little too long. I really should stop looking up the things people keep telling me this pic reminds them of. I don’t have PTSD! The dreams started back when I was in college. If there is a priest there, he’ll try to put holy water on your food or something, he won’t tell you. If you’re possessed it’s supposed to make you repulsed or something like that. You can bet that there will be an exorcism if there is a priest there that isn’t their usual priest. If neither the mental-health evaluation nor a  Donald Trump Baby Balloon Shirt subsequent physical exam turns up a standard explanation for the person’s affliction, the priest starts to take the case more seriously

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. At this point, he may begin looking for what the Church considers the classic signs of demonic possession: facility in a language the person has never learned; physical strength beyond his or her age or condition; access to secret knowledge; and a vehement aversion to Donald Trump Baby Balloon Shirt God and sacred objects, including crucifixes and holy water. In my teen years, a friend of mine would randomly spray me with starter fluid and light me on fire. (long story) Fast forward to a local rock band playing at a church, and he lights me on fire while I’m walking in the front door. Now, this not being the first time my reaction was “really? Not again” before calmly exiting and sliding my back on the grass to extinguish it.

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