A couple of things worth knowing before we continue. My partner is a farmer and we get up at 4 am every morning. We also live in an old wood house up a Minnie Mouse Easter Egg Happy Easter Shirt mountain. Ok, so this happened this me this morning. We woke up as usual and I went to put on the coffee machine, which we set up the night before because 4 am is a ridiculous time to try and do anything. While the coffee was brewing I absentmindedly began to clear the sink from the night before. We are pretty lazy at night so all the dishes etc just get soaked.
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So in my 4 am haze I’m fishing about in the sink trying to clear out the rice from yesterday’s meal so the Minnie Mouse Easter Egg Happy Easter Shirt water will go down. I grab what I assume to be a teabag and go to put it in the bin. But of course, before I can do that I have to squeeze the liquid out as I don’t want shitty water in the bottom of the bin. Here’s the fuck up incase you didn’t see it coming. The ‘teabag’ is a dead mouse that has drowned overnight and become waterlogged and swollen. I squeeze the mouse and it explodes, covering my face with its awful pink water/viscera.
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No idea why my mouth was open at the time apart from it was 4 am and I was probably mouth breathing and half asleep still. It tastes like pennies and sadness. I may never be the Minnie Mouse Easter Egg Happy Easter Shirt the same again. TL;DR I exploded a mouse thinking it was a teabag and drank its divine juices, which I assume shot out of its waterlogged anus. EDIT: thanks to everyone contacting me to tell me to seek medical advice. I have and have a follow-up appointment next week. I’m glad my fuck up could turn so many stomachs.